Insecurities 101

I always believe that all people have their insecurities of course normally,  people just don't admit it easily. I have a lot of insecurities that I want to remove or somehow achieve so that I would stop being insecured. Let me make a list of these whatnots.

I'm insecured with thin people because they get to wear almost everything without looking stupid. I mean, they could wear small clothes which flaunts their body and they could also wear oversized shirts which looks cute. Well, I'm not really fat or anything but I'm not sexy either. I'm really having troubles with clothes. For my body, I really have fat arms and legs and it makes me feel really conscious. To sum it up, I just wanna be thin, thin, thin, thin, thin!

But NO, I don't wanna be anorexic or anything. That's just plain stupid and I have no intentions to die early from starvation. I don't really get why some girls are anorexic. I know they are obsessed of being thin and getting fat is what they hate the most but I still don't get it. If you're asking by the way if I tried some diet to get the body I want .. Well, I did try but I tend to disobey my own rules and you can say that I quit diet after 3 weeks. Exercise would be good too but, I'm a sleepyhead and I have a hard time waking up early in the morning.

Isn't she pretty? :">  <3

I'm insecured with pretty people. Lol. Nahh! I'm already contented with my face I just want to get my skin to be lighter and glowing and free from white heads. Lol. I actually like pretty girls and I have a crush on Natalie Portman since I was 14.

I'm insecured with girls with long wavy brunette hair. I have a long black hair and I use dye to make my hair brown. I actually apply some after 3 months or so. When I was a kid, I have a really thick and dry hair. If you'd check it and have a closer look, you would think that every hair strand I have dead. I just had treatments to improve it. I had it rebonded and now, I want to permanently curl or wave my hair and achieve that messy curly hair I want. I could do it anytime but my dad's acting all bitchy and he doesn't want me to do it. Well I think that he just don't want to pay for it. Lol. Seriously, he acts like he owns my hair. :|

Yup, I want Brenda Song's hair in that picture. :)

Seriously, I just need confidence and a little of hard work and I know I could achieve all this but I'm a person with a really thin patience and I want it as soon as I want it. I don't know if I could do this. Maybe I should put up posts with my diet. Gahh!